Of Harry Potter... and things.

My kids love video games and serial stories and fan fictions that go along with them. I do too.. well.. more the serial stories and anime  and fan fictions that follow. I think that in such things we identify with characters that we are like, who become so much more that we are, who become maybe even more than we aspire to be.

I like reading Harry Potter fan fiction personally.. can't get enough. And my girls tease me- I love reading Harry Draco pairings, usually where they get married off to good wives, have kids, families, live well, and then come their 30's they have a revelation that says 'hey, we are too grown up to hate like school boys' It usually involves a romeo and Juliet style relationship between two or their kids, and they have to figure out how not to be assholes (pardon the term, but it suites.) And they wind up being friends. I really like seeing people grow up and figure out how to be friends.

But the one person who has all my attention in the story, who I feel the most like, is Neville Longbottom. He is such a mess most of the time, forgets everything, flounders around, gets picked on, is a little butterball growing up, and just out of place. I don't even have to imagine ANY of that, it was so me. Still is a lot of days. But he falls into a passionate love affair with botany (again, I get that.) He is loyal and giving and faithful and when the screws are turned he works so hard to be strong. He is brave and true, he gives so much of himself and is shocked when he gets any reward or notice for it. He sets up the final kill perfectly, and without him victory wouldn't be possible. But he isn't really the victor..

He grows up to marry and have kids and live quietly, and do quietly and be quietly and just exist really. That's how it seems.. and maybe that's how I identify. I'm not the one who makes the bucks or does the amazing things or faces the demons, but I support the man who does. I can be burned and tortured and thrown into horrid situations over and over again and still I won't break and I won't yield because if I do then my hero might not make it through, and that is unacceptable. So I stand, quietly, loyally, patiently, supporting, living, doing what I can, unnoticed most of the time, but I don't mind. It's not about the recognition, it's about the result- and THAT is heroic.

I think that at this moment the greatest thing I can think to do is thank my hero, for being who he is, for giving me the desire to be who I am for him. And no, he doesn't dictate who I am, so read it like this- he inspires me to be more, do more, and feel more. He gave me more of his own free will, and in return I want to give more back, not because I HAVE to but because I WANT to. I think that is the beauty of a real partnership- he helps me want to be a better person for myself, and for him, because if I am better we work together better and can do so much more together. And that is a truly beautiful thing.