It is the small things that make us happy in life, n'est-ce pas?
They came to the house today (maintenance that is) and had a list of like 12 things, and one of them was the oven, which has been out of order for a couple weeks. They had to order a part, and we had to sit and wait for it to come in, and then for the appointment to have it installed. I never thought that I would be so thankful for something as simple as a working oven. But the truth is the simpler the gift, the better it is.
I would rather have a small, simple thought than something extravagant and overwhelming. It makes me feel better that I get something I know I can really use- in this case, an oven that works to make pizza when my crew is hungry and hollering for pizza! What can be better than that?
Simple gifts.. I think there is a higher power looking out for me today..
May she watch out for us all tonight, this week..
Blessed Be all..
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Silly Menopause.
I am not a shy person by any means, at least not any longer. I used to be, if you can believe that. A blushing violet and all that rot. After having three kids, it's definitely NOT in the cards to be that way for me any more.. and so, I introduce the topic of early menopause, maybe it should be called medical menopause, who knows, but there you have it, or rather, here *I* have it LOL
I had a hysterectomy done in February of this year, which left me with one confused ovary, which seems to not understand what it's job is. Somedays it works okay, some days it's on hiatus. Actually, most days it feels like it's on hiatus. And the problem is that it makes me overly moody.. well, not that anyone can really tell but me and my husband. I guess I have the patience of Job, so when I get testy I act like a normal person. All in all that's a dealable side effect.
I can also handle the night sweats, the chills, hot flashes, the erratic libido, and the rest of the crap that comes with this. But there are two things that are driving me insane.
1. The insomnia. This is for the birds. Or zombies. Or evil dissidents, but it is NOT for me. I spent 36 hours without a wink and I thought I was going to hallucinate at one pint. I sat down to write my husband a not and when I tried to read it back it was gibberish. I tried everything in the house- melatonin, homeopathic sleep aids, chamomile teas, you name it (and I have most of it on hand because I grow a fairly full witch's/healing garden) So when I finally got enough sleep to feel safe enough to drive, I saw my doc and here I sit with a sleeping pill.. sure, I know, most of America has sleeping pill prescriptions, but I don't like it, and I don't want it, and it bugs the heck out of me.
2. The craving for a full house. This one hit me out of the blue.. I have always wanted to have a big family, but the truth is that now the more people in my home the happier I am. Long term, Short term, for visits, for study groups, my kids, visiting friends, you name it. It was like suddenly they took away my option to have more (and heavens knows we couldn't- it would've literally killed me) and I craved having more kids in the house. Strange but true. I guess I feel like I have a lot to offer, and I want to volunteer it. I know that I get a few weird looks for it- why would I want to spend my time and energy doing this stuff (like hosting study groups or offering to have sleepovers every weekend for my kids friends or inviting family or friends to stay for a couple weeks over the summer or the whole summer) especially since I don't ask for anything in return. But the truth is that for just a little while I feel like I have a huge family, and that is enough..
It's hard to describe, you know? Maybe this whole surgical experience and all the subsequent jacked up issues have pushed me even further towards facing my own mortality and I am simply trying to reach out and leave a mark in a positive way where I can.. I remember the people who did thinks like this for me, and I want to be an indelible memory like that should anything happen to me, sooner or later. I'd rather not sit back and vanish, when I can be remembered, and when I can give my kids a good example by showing them good interaction. It gives them a chance to spend time with people they, too, like/love, and want to be around. They get to be a part of something good, something memorable. And i get to watch them enjoy having people around them too..
But it gets expensive feeding all those mouths, and I could use some quiet time to clean. The problem is that when I am alone, I sit and think about how it's too quiet.
Silly menopause.
I had a hysterectomy done in February of this year, which left me with one confused ovary, which seems to not understand what it's job is. Somedays it works okay, some days it's on hiatus. Actually, most days it feels like it's on hiatus. And the problem is that it makes me overly moody.. well, not that anyone can really tell but me and my husband. I guess I have the patience of Job, so when I get testy I act like a normal person. All in all that's a dealable side effect.
I can also handle the night sweats, the chills, hot flashes, the erratic libido, and the rest of the crap that comes with this. But there are two things that are driving me insane.
1. The insomnia. This is for the birds. Or zombies. Or evil dissidents, but it is NOT for me. I spent 36 hours without a wink and I thought I was going to hallucinate at one pint. I sat down to write my husband a not and when I tried to read it back it was gibberish. I tried everything in the house- melatonin, homeopathic sleep aids, chamomile teas, you name it (and I have most of it on hand because I grow a fairly full witch's/healing garden) So when I finally got enough sleep to feel safe enough to drive, I saw my doc and here I sit with a sleeping pill.. sure, I know, most of America has sleeping pill prescriptions, but I don't like it, and I don't want it, and it bugs the heck out of me.
2. The craving for a full house. This one hit me out of the blue.. I have always wanted to have a big family, but the truth is that now the more people in my home the happier I am. Long term, Short term, for visits, for study groups, my kids, visiting friends, you name it. It was like suddenly they took away my option to have more (and heavens knows we couldn't- it would've literally killed me) and I craved having more kids in the house. Strange but true. I guess I feel like I have a lot to offer, and I want to volunteer it. I know that I get a few weird looks for it- why would I want to spend my time and energy doing this stuff (like hosting study groups or offering to have sleepovers every weekend for my kids friends or inviting family or friends to stay for a couple weeks over the summer or the whole summer) especially since I don't ask for anything in return. But the truth is that for just a little while I feel like I have a huge family, and that is enough..
It's hard to describe, you know? Maybe this whole surgical experience and all the subsequent jacked up issues have pushed me even further towards facing my own mortality and I am simply trying to reach out and leave a mark in a positive way where I can.. I remember the people who did thinks like this for me, and I want to be an indelible memory like that should anything happen to me, sooner or later. I'd rather not sit back and vanish, when I can be remembered, and when I can give my kids a good example by showing them good interaction. It gives them a chance to spend time with people they, too, like/love, and want to be around. They get to be a part of something good, something memorable. And i get to watch them enjoy having people around them too..
But it gets expensive feeding all those mouths, and I could use some quiet time to clean. The problem is that when I am alone, I sit and think about how it's too quiet.
Silly menopause.
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