Right.
It's one of the most pain in the butt diseases ever. A girl gets sick and tired of sticking her fingers with lancets 5 of 6 times a day, of injecting insulin, watching and counting and checking. I'll admit it, I'm freaking tired of it, 200%. I will say though I am super thankful that I have insurance that covers all but $150 bucks of it all every month. Still, it would be nice to eat something without needing to log it, or go a day without a stupid shot or 7.
The latest bombshell is yay! Gonna need a pump probably. I know that other people have them, i know they have worse things wrong, but they should be able complain too. When you get told you have an organ crapping out, you will spend the rest of your life dependent upon a device and the medicine it inject repeatedly into you- it's frightening, terrifying. Everyone says/ it's no big deal, better to be healthy. But they don't have one. And yeah, it I'd better to be healthy, but it's best to not be ill to begin with. I'm tend girl who hated taking Tylenol. I cut out every bad thing including soda when I was pregnant. I HATE medicine, taking it, every day. I already take a million things out of necessity now.
This is one more thing, one more dependency, one more external thing that I can't fix, that controls me. I don't control when I eat or dose- my diabetes does. I don't heal, I don't have a decent life expectancy without fixing this next hurdle. I don't get to choose, I get to be dictated to by that stupid pancreas that said 'hey, I quit'. That will never change. Stupid freaking disease. Stupid rebellious body, get back to work dang it!
Off rant I guess., feeling overwhelmed at the prospects, and at this point it's looking like a given. Pump. Sigh.
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